Mate, I think I've broken Amazon
Is this what publishing is now?
Does anybody else call their significant other, “Mate”? No? Just me? I digress. Let’s move onto the article.
You’ve written a book. First of all, well done, you stubborn, brilliant human. Whether it’s a sweeping fantasy saga, a spicy enemies-to-lovers romp, or a no-nonsense guide to mindful decluttering (of your house, your inbox, or your ex), you’ve done the hard bit; putting words on the page. But now what?
Welcome to the thrilling, occasionally demoralising, wildly democratic world of Amazon KDP. That’s Kindle Direct Publishing, not some dodgy dietary supplement or a secret government agency.
Here’s what I wish someone had told me before I tried to upload a 72,000-word manuscript at 1.30am while screaming at a dodgy PDF converter and eating hummus from the tub with a shrivelled-up carrot stick.
1. Format like a pro (or fake it really well)
Formatting your book is like plucking your eyebrows. You think it’s going fine, and then… boom!… you’ve deleted half a chapter or your page numbers are suddenly in Comic Sans. Check my profile pic to see the weird eyebrows I have to prove this!
Top tip: Use KindleCreate (my preference), or Atticus, or Reedsy. If you’re allergic to tech, pay someone who loves this sort of thing. They exist (Hi!). They thrive in fonts and section breaks. Bless them (me).
For paperbacks, Amazon wants PDFs. For eBooks, you want clean, reflowable text, ideally uploaded as a KPF or EPUB file. No, Word documents with squiggly underlines won’t cut it. Trust me.
2. Covers matter more than your ego wants to believe
You might feel emotionally attached to that cover your cousin made in Canva with the stock photo of a wistful girl on a hill. But unless she’s a certified design genius, rethink it.
The brutal truth? Readers do judge a book by its cover. If it doesn’t scream your genre, match current trends, and look professional when thumbnailed on a phone screen, it won’t sell.
There are pre-made covers, affordable designers, and even AI-generated options now, but just make sure it fits the genre expectations. Romance? Show some chest. Thriller? Go dark and moody. Non-fiction? Fonts, baby. Clean, readable fonts.
3. Your book description is your sales pitch
This is where a lot of people go off-piste. Your book description is not the place to wax lyrical about your protagonist’s tragic backstory. It’s a hook. A tease. A “you’ll never guess what happens next” moment.
Think:
One-line hook that slaps
Short paragraph to set the scene
A few bullet points (yes, really) about what readers will get
A killer call to action: Perfect for fans of…
And for non-fiction? Tell them what problem you solve and why you’re the person to solve it. Keep it snappy.
4. Keywords and categories: the dark arts
You get seven keyword slots. Don’t waste them. This is not the place for “inspirational.” Go niche. Be specific. Type phrases into Amazon’s search bar and see what comes up. Use those. Think like your reader: what would they search for?
Categories are sneakier. Amazon only shows you a few when you upload, but there are hundreds more behind the scenes. Yes, you can ask for additional categories. Yes, they’ll usually say yes.
If you land in a category with low competition and get a few sales, you’re a bestseller. Yes, really. I did it! I got a Number 1 Bestseller in the Unitarian Universalism category!
5. Price strategically (not emotionally)
Do not price your 48-page poetry pamphlet at £9.99 and then wonder why sales are slower than dial-up internet. At the same time, don’t underprice just because you’re scared no one will buy it.
Sweet spot?
£1.99–£3.99 for eBooks.
£6.99–£9.99 for paperbacks (depending on size and page count).
Test it and tweak it. Your pricing can and should evolve.
Side note: Amazon has recently changed its Royalty rules. Your paperbacks now need to be £7.99 to get the 60%, otherwise it’s 50%.
6. Launch isn’t everything, but it helps
You do not need a month-long pre-order campaign, a street team, and a coordinated TikTok dance routine to launch your book. You can just hit publish and shout about it on a Tuesday. But, if you want to nudge the algorithm and get a cheeky boost, it’s worth warming up your audience.
That might mean:
Sending a few teaser emails
Posting behind-the-scenes content
Offering a free chapter
Running a £0.99 promo at launch
Also: reviews. Get them ethically, from real people who have read your book and know it’s not about your dog’s reincarnation as a Victorian chimney sweep (unless it is, in which case, I’m intrigued).
Here’s how I got my Number 1 Bestseller (did I tell you I had a Number 1 Bestseller?):
eBook pre-orders
Social media buzz (teased the cover)
Offered a free chapter on my website
Sent out proof copies to a select few friends in return for a review to use on the back cover/blurb
7. You don’t need to do everything - just something
You’ll be told to start a blog, build a mailing list, run Amazon ads, set up a funnel, sell on Etsy, use TikTok, do a podcast tour, AND record an audiobook from your airing cupboard. That’s adorable, but it’s also impossible.
Pick one or two marketing methods that fit your vibe, your time, and your bandwidth. Show up consistently, and remember: you can always pivot.
8. Your job isn’t done when you hit publish
Publishing your book is just step one - it’s the opening credits. You’re now a publisher, marketer, editor-in-chief, and tea-maker. Keep tweaking, keep learning, iterate like you’re on Bake Off and the oven’s playing silly buggers.
If something’s not working, try something else. If a book’s not selling, give it a makeover. Self-publishing is not ‘set it and forget it’, it’s ‘set it, forget it briefly, panic slightly, then tweak until it works’. I’m doing this now for my Number 1 Bestseller (did I mention…?). I’m changing the subtitle. Not many people know they’re an alien from a parallel universe, but some might ‘feel like’ an alien from a parallel universe. I’ll let you know whether it makes a difference.
Final thoughts: perfection is the enemy of done
I mention this a lot. In most of my posts, in fact! But, it’s something that stuck with me from my corporate job when my micromanaging boss thought I was taking too long on a project. He said, “It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be done.” The perfectionist in me was mortified. But he was right. Will your first book be perfect? Absolutely not. But it will be published, and that’s more than most people ever manage.
So press the damn button. Nobody even knows what ‘perfect’ is anymore anyway.
Speaking of pressing buttons:
The world needs your weird, your wisdom, your warped little stories. It needs more self-publishers who are in it - not to chase algorithmic fame or six-figure royalty cheques (though lovely if you get them), but because you had to write this book. Because it wouldn’t leave you alone. Because now it’s time to share it.
And if it all gets too much? You can always scream into a pillow, reset your ISBN, and start again tomorrow.
J.x
As a little bonus to this email, I’ve made you a Notion KDP Self-Publishing Checklist. You can find it here. Just ‘Duplicate’ and away you go!